I Believe. . .

I Believe

For the LORD is good.
Psalm 100:5

I Believe He is always good.
He is good in easy times and hard times,
in quiet times and busy times,
in smooth times and rugged times.
He is good in stormy days and calm days,
on smooth waters and rough seas,
on high mountains and in deep valleys.
I believe God is good . . .

 

As I was contemplating how I will miss the early morning spiritual nourishment of chapel, now that schedules have changed and I will no longer be playing there, the above Psalm 'popped up' in my e-mail.  (I love synchronicity!)  It reminded me of a most tender journey together with Bob through a deep valley.  At some point during each day of that journey, we said to one another, "God is good!"  It is important to know that we didn't just say the words, we *believed* them...just as I do today.  I realize this can be a confusing concept to those who question the unconditional love of a higher power, based on so called 'bad' things happening or an answer to prayer that is not specifically what was hoped for.  Some call this unanswered prayer.  I prefer to believe every prayer is answered but, as I have often said, "Sometimes the answer is 'no' " and that is when there is a choice to make; whether to step fully into faith, or to submit to the coercions toward denial.  Our choice.  It is my prayer that folks I love, and people I don't even know who are walking through hard times, busy and  rugged times, stormy days, rough seas and deep valleys will choose faith and *believe* God is good.    ~Amen.    

A "candle" sort of day. . .

It's a gray, rainy day this Tuesday morning.  Time to light some candles.  I find they add a little serenity and a boost to the ambiance of days like this.  I am not adjusting well to the change to Daylight Saving Time.  I suppose the fact that the clocks transitioned during the night of my trip home from NC, and that I had to be 'up and at'em' early the next morning has something to do with the extent of my   disorientation. 

 

The "experts" say it takes six weeks for habits to develop.  I beg to differ.  After living for three weeks with some of my family in their home, I find myself frequently at a loss to remember where things are in my own house!  For instance, Sunday morning, I poured water in my coffee pot and had to pause to recall where I would find coffee in this 'foreign' kitchen.  In my defense, I will add that I was not yet fully awake.  In fact, earlier, as I opened my eyes, I was perplexed as to where I was.  It will also take some time to get used to not hearing other "people sounds."

 

Usually, when I return from such a visit, on my first day home, I feel almost like I never left.  This time, I haven't plunged right in, so to speak.  Instead, I am allowing the transitioning to take place gradually.  I was home for a day before I listened to phone messages and another day before I unpacked.  I have yet to open any of the mail that John has conveniently organized in three separate piles of newspapers, catalogs, and envelopes.  For the time being, too, I am ignoring the cat-fur 'tumbleweeds' that are drifting (singing...drifting along like a tumbling tumbleweed...) around on the furniture and floors.  Ah, yes -- Clementi!  He has hardly left my side since he welcomed me home.  He feels the need to be touching me at all times; either sitting on me, stroking me with his paws, licking me, or rubbing his saliva all over me.  There is cat fur in the air I breathe and it sticks in my lipstick.  The static electricity of my computer has created a 'furry' look to whatever I see on the screen.  It is difficult to work when a cat persists on perching on my desk.  With his teeth, he has shredded some receipts that I hope are not important.  It could be that Clementi is retaliating.  First, for my leaving for so long.  Then, because he did spend all of last night in the hall pantry closet.  I swear that was accidental!  I even questioned the lack of his annoying presence when I turned in for the night but I supposed my homecoming was no longer new to him or that he might be stalking a mouse somewhere in the house.  (He sits motionless for hours when he's hunting.)  This morning, as soon as I stirred, I heard his pathetic yowling and knew right away what had happened.  You'd think he'd learn!  I keep mentioning to him, "You do know about curiosity and the cat, don't you?" 

 

The rain is coming down quite steadily.  I'm going to light my candles now and I'd better check the basement for leaks.

 

Oh...and feed the cat.

Today. . .

Another Thursday...but is it?  Thursday, yes...but 'another', no.  Sometimes I am deceived into thinking the days of the week are a cycle of repetitiveness when, in fact, they are ongoing, forward leading stepping stones that beckon me to follow them through this ever-changing land called Life.  In my journey, all that I can see with any clarity is Today and that, I believe is as it should be.  *All I can see of Yesterday and Tomorrow are the hazy horizons that blur the paths behind and before me.  That too, is as it should be, I believe.

 

I must say, during my stay here in NC, I have adapted easily to the leisure routine of sleeping in, doing minimal household tasks, sipping half-caff coffee, and knitting.  Lots and lots of knitting (my obsession, of late).  In prior months while I was in the doldrums, I decided I needed an attainable goal that would help me feel uplifted when accomplished.  I chose knitting.  Although I had done some knitting in the past, I usually opted to crochet because I was more skilled at that and my slower pace at knitting was frustrating.  With determination, I polished up my needles and, over the winter, dove into all sorts of patterns and yarns.  I am pleased to say, "mission accomplished!"  But now...the only problem is...I can't stop!  I have become a compulsive knitter!

Today is a good day!  I'm sure that is due, in part, to the nurturing of yesterday's impromptu visit with a beautiful long-time friend.  (I was going to say "old" friend but somehow that word is sounding less and less appropriate.)  =^)

 

*I seem to be recalling the 'Pushme - Pullyou' in the story of "Dr. Doolittle and the Pirates" who kept watch of the horizons, using both of his heads, and would say, "I see no danger in front of us" and "I see no danger behind us."  I suppose some preparedness is necessary but I have to wonder if the Pushme - Pullyou missed out on some of the joy of the "Today."    

Ramblings. . .

Sunday morning, March 3rd. . .

I am all ready to leave for church in a little while, my last Sunday here in North Carolina.  There are always mixed emotions about that since, after all these years, I have become comfortably familiar with the nice folks at Hope Mills United Methodist Church, whom I lovingly refer to as my "other" church family.

Finally! a little bit of a warmer day.  The sunshine is welcome, too.  However, the extended forecast indicates that the warm spring-like days that are typical here at this time will not begin until the day I leave.  That is also typical and has become our running joke.

The banana bread Daniel made last night hits the spot with a fresh, hot cup of coffee.  That was our second cooking session; the first was pancakes made from scratch.  I'm glad he and Ian like to cook.  Ian's specialties are tacos and calzone. 

To be continued. . . 

 

Fast-forward to Tuesday morning, March 5th. . .

Bright sunshine this morning but looking like it might cloud up and there is a 'nip' in the air.  There were snow flurries Sunday morning.  Enough about weather!  Who cares?  Besides, dwelling on our preferences accomplishes nothing but a waste of precious time.

 

The countdown has begun, meaning that my visit here is dwindling since I will be flying home this Saturday night.  My feelings are mixed.  While I have more or less settled in here, I find myself beginning to turn my thoughts toward details of home.  Have my plants been watered?  What mail has come?  Any important phone messages?  Has Clementi eaten himself into oblivion?  But most importantly, I hope someone has remembered *litterbox detail*!!!  I'm sure they have...but, can you imagine?  =^)

 

Lately I've had the opportunity to hone my amateur barbering skills and, to my surprise, am not as rusty as I thought I'd be after such a long time.  (Bob always liked joking about the fact that I came from a long line of Italian barbers.)  John had requested a back-to-school haircut last September and I have been 'in business' ever since.  John, Michael and Ian had faith in me but as for Daniel - not so, at first.  He was in dire need of a 'shearing' but whenever I offered, his response was to eye me skeptically and say, "I have my own barber."  He finally relented, though, and looks like a different person.

 

How I love my grandkids!  I count them one by one every day and ponder their individual ages and stages...all sixteen of them (including three "greats").  Their growing up seems to be happening so fast.  Were their parents really children for such a short time?  I have the sensation that I have merely turned around to find a passage of time has taken place while I blinked. 

 

How thankful I am to be part of all that! 

 

Especially the part where I am once-removed from the stress of parenthood.  Payback! Ha!!