There's no easy "yes" but there is life after "no."
Yet another profound instance of synchronicity occurred this morning as I took in this morning's dose of spiritual nourishment. These coincidences are not so rare anymore but I am no less awed by them than when they first began. I should say, "when I first began to notice them," since my guess is they always have been there/are there/will be there.
These are some of the words I read this morning: "The fluffy take on some pretty serious verses that try to tell you, 'All you need is faith' and you'll get what you want. 'Just believe and the Lord will provide.' 'Ask and you shall receive.' I wrestled a long time with this new God of my 'no.' But slowly I discovered that His answer didn't dismiss my loss. Not if I saw it in the context of His ability to understand and respond to that loss."
And: "That is where He met me. At the cross-roads of His decision and my acceptance of it; He led me out of my heartache and into a season of redemption and beauty. All without changing His answer. Instead He changed me."
I revelled in the fact that what I was reading followed right on the heels of a very recent conversation I'd had; the heart of which was validated so clearly in the words I have quoted here. In that conversation, I had tried to describe a personal spiritual understanding I have reached as a result of all the mountains and milestones along my journey thus far. I groped for sufficient words but they were as evasive to me as usual. Well, I found them! In print!! They were waiting right here for me this morning: "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 NIV" If I were to personalize further, I would add: "I know what it is to have the worst thing I could imagine, happen ... and to emerge on the other side of that (hurting, yes) but moving forward through the crossroads with faith intact and unfaltering acceptance that His answer was "no."
As I unravel the intricacies of the woven paths leading up to here and now, there are specific words that come to mind repeatedly. Oddly enough, the words are my own! I first spoke them aloud in a small group study during a discussion that was taking place. As I heard various accounts of "answered prayer" (meaning the answer had been "yes"), I realized how often I'd heard the expressions, "There IS a God!" or "God DOES answer prayer" when an outcome had been what was wished for. I understand they are both merely expressions but nonetheless, I always found myself feeling somewhat 'twitchy' whenever I heard them. I would remember my parenting days and how often I had stated very clearly, "Sometimes the answer is no." Why, I wondered, would our Parent respond any differently to us? One evening during the study group, I finally posed the question: "What about when the answer is 'no'? Is there still a God?" And added, "sometimes the answer is no." I cannot recall the immediate response and that's not even relevant now. What is important is the fact that I came to realize that my question ... those words I spoke (and believed then and do now) ... were for me; so I would have them readily in mind in the weeks and months to come and therefore, embrace acceptance more readily.
And ... sometimes the answer is YES! But how could we possibly know the joy of 'yes' if there were never a 'no'-? How would we know the difference?
