Colonoscopy is not a dirty word. . .

Colonoscopy is not a dirty word. Why is it, then, that we hesitate to talk about it (except maybe to confide in our innermost circle of friends and family) when it’s our turn to undergo this procedure? I have to admit that I, too, harbored some of those reservations at first but I am gradually weaning myself from such outdated standards of etiquette. It seems to me that some topics that ought to be taboo – aren’t while those that ought not to be – are. I was pleased to hear a discussion of this very subject on a talk show recently. It was interesting to observe the division of comfort in the participants. Although the discomfort was subtle and was never really acknowledged, the body language made it discernibly obvious.

Shall I say “misery loves company?” Well, not always. If I were looking for distraction from my misery, then yes, I wouldn’t mind some company. However, there are times when I prefer to wallow through my misery alone. Not because I enjoy it but because, in some instances, it’s easier for me to find distractions when there is no one distracting me…if that makes sense. This is one of those times.

Tomorrow is the day. D-day…or maybe I should say C-day. At the present time I’m certain I am growing weak from starvation. More so than necessary, I’m assuming, but worth it. When I had my last “C-day” some years ago, the amiable gastroenterologist shared a helpful tidbit with me (in the same hushed manner as one secret agent might pass valuable information along to another.) “If you start the clear liquids a day sooner,” he whispered, “you probably won’t have to drink all of the stuff.” “Sounds good to me,” I thought. He was right and I appreciated his selecting me as the one person to ever be made aware of this. Or so it seemed at the time. Later, when I had time to think about it I realized, of course, that he most certainly made a practice of passing along that “inside” information to all his patients. I can’t be sure, though. It could be that my wide-eyed, tell-tale expression that clearly indicated, “You’re saying I need to do what?!” prompted his decision that I should be the chosen one.

• My thoughts have taken a detour and I am remembering childhood experiences with our school’s kindly dental hygienist who cleaned and checked all of our teeth every single year. Students left her office not only with squeaky-clean teeth but with the satisfying knowledge that each of their set of teeth was the most perfect she had ever seen. As we got older and began bragging that fact to one another, it sure was a letdown to realize she had told each of us the same thing. We also found out that we all shared the "secret" discovery that you could look at her glasses and watch what she was doing.

Since what the doctor had told me previously had turned out to be good advice, I’m assuming it will be again so once more I have tacked on an extra day of consuming nothing but clear liquids. The only thing I’ve eaten (drank) that bore any resemblance to real food since Tuesday was the cup of beef broth I had yesterday (Wednesday.) Last night I downed a bottle of lemon flavored magnesium citrate and I have to say it really wasn’t that bad on the taste buds. It may have helped that I disguised the bottle in my John Deere beverage sleeve. Or maybe I was so hungry that anything would have tasted good. Other than that, I’ve been drinking coffee, tea, water and white grape juice. I’m saving the apple juice for the powdered Miralax marathon later. Meanwhile, I’m opting to ignore the fact that it will be early evening tomorrow (Friday) before I will have opportunity to eat real food again.

As always, there’s a positive side, too. (...half-full glass again! Pardon the pun.) This timing has conveniently coincided with my plans for a self-designated “personal retreat week.” I need focused pensive time every now and then; time that provides a setting conducive to taking in the spiritual nourishment that is my sustenance. Gratefully, I have had that. It has been a quiet, prayerful week and I have tried to let my thoughts flow freely. I find this process similar to physical exercise in that, while smaller spurts are helpful, they are not as effective as the longer periods that allow me to reach that “settled in” feeling when random thoughts and ideas begin to tumble into place at an exhilarating pace. Accordingly, I would call this a spiritually uplifting and fulfilling week in many ways. I have deliberately set aside many of my routine responsibilities and tasks. (I’ll play catch up with them later hoping there are no “surprises.”) I have absorbed the quietness and listened. I have spent more time writing, I did a little wall re-decorating and I listened to some audio books while crocheting. I even watched a couple of old movies…in the middle of the day! It has been quite refreshing not to be concerned with dates or time.

The next day…Friday – “C-day.”

I survived the Miralax marathon although I may have ruined any further liking for apple juice in the process.

It’s a beautiful day. It snowed last night and everything is fresh. The sun is shining through the hemlocks over the Hobbit Hole and every now and then the air glistens in a ray of sunshine. How interesting that the snow-laden trees are in conflict as to how they will unload the white stuff. A grandparent once told me to watch how the snow goes off the trees and I will know what the next storm will be. He said, “If the snow falls from the trees, the next storm will be rain” and “If it is blown out of the trees by the wind, the next storm will be snow.” If that’s the case, I’m predicting "wintery mix."

Ordinarily I try not to wish time forward but I admit I am eager to put this day behind me. But not before having something good to eat! Then hopefully I won’t have to mention that dirty “C” word again for a few years.