Many shades of green. . .

Coffee on the porch this morning in my favorite little corner.  The sun always rises over the Hobbit Hole, first glimmering through the trees then cascading over their top branches and spreading around the yard like warm butter.  I cherish these moments of timelessness when the world stands still as dimensions blend and reality becomes blurred.  If I were to try to describe these moments, I would say that when they happen I feel as though I slip into the pages of a book. 

 

I think I first learned to indulge in these momentary 'escapes' from reality as a child.  It all began with a coloring book (Andy Panda, to be exact).  I was intrigued by the pictures as I colored carefully, in order to stay between the lines, and to make sure to use many shades of green so that each type of outdoor greenery could be unique.  For instance, evergreen trees needed to be much darker than grass, and various leaves needed to be a variety of shades somewhere in between the evergreens and grass.  What a world I discovered on those pages!  I discovered that if I gazed at a page long enough, in my mind's eye I could superimpose myself into it until my senses reacted and that 'place' became my reality.  I was enthralled with that feeling; it was such a warm and safe place to be.  It never lasted long and I was always disappointed that I had no control over that.  Today, looking back, I realize it's probably a good thing that I never captured that control.  Who knows what the outcome would have been if I had 'stayed there?'  

 

But I know Who is the only One in control and always knows what He is doing.

 

This morning as I sipped coffee and gazed at my own yard, many thoughts sifted their way into my head and lingered there awhile.  There were too many to recall all the thoughts I had but I know I spent a fair amount of time remembering my sister-in-law, Bonnie, who left her earthly home going on nineteen years ago now.  Her birthday is today, June 14th, on Flag Day.  Sadly, she was stricken with early onset Alzheimer's disease when she was in her forties and a diagnosis was not readily forthcoming at that time.  When I think of her, for the most part, I remember the teenage girl and young mother I knew.  Many of the wonderful attributes she had to offer may have gone unnoticed due to her shyness but I happen to know she was extremely bright and compassionate.  She was quite lovely, too, with her large brown eyes and honey blond hair with just the right amount of natural curl.  I wish we had spent more time together.  I wish I had told her how I admired her.  I wish I had been a better friend. I wish she was here to grow old with me. I wish......  I wish I understood the many shades of green.

 

But I know Who is the only One in control and always knows what He is doing.

 

Happy Birthday, Bonnie!  The green font is for you...your favorite color!